I’VE BEEN telling myself to write more often. Just write. Even if it’s terrible, even if it’s incoherent, even if there’s nothing interesting to write about. I remind myself to write with an audience in mind. This way I will at least try to make my thoughts readable. Never mind the correctness; we all make mistakes anyway. Just write.
But when do I write? I work eight hours a week, five times a day, and my boss has been compelling me to explore the town more often. Sometimes I go out with people, sometimes I watch movies in my room, and sometimes I trek along the coulees to keep my lungs and heart healthy (feelingera lang). I’ve also been reading a lot. Many kinds, from Terry Eagleton to Filipino short fiction to one cheesy romance that reminds me of my own voice — which isn’t really a compliment, unfortunately.
But the more I read and try to “live a life,” the less time I have for writing. By the time I open an empty document, I don’t see the point anymore. Why subject myself to something as taxing as writing?
Because really, doesn’t writing require effort? There’s no muscle memory to rely on, no template to fill with straightforward information. As I write this, I can hear the gears in my head constantly turning and churning to produce the right words in (hopefully) the right order. And somehow writing is so much harder when you have nothing specific to write about, ‘no?
But I do have writing ideas that are just, well, ideas. I have this post in mind, for example, about “distance and dispositions” in which I philosophize distance and spacetime and relate them to my being far from everyone I love. This, however, requires research and some bitch-ass rhetorical prowess, hence the delay.
And then there’s this post entitled “The Interrogative Mood,” another yet-to-be-written piece inspired by Padgett Powell’s book of the same title. All the sentences in his book are questions, as in every stop ends with a question mark. I want to write something similar and see how far I could go if I limit myself to just the interrogative form. Interesting, isn’t it?
And I also want to write about this gooey YA that I’m reading. I want to understand why I’m not enjoying it and I want to persuade other people to agree with me. Now that I don’t write outside this blog anymore, I figured the reason I still write is so I could make sense of thoughts that otherwise don’t. And occasionally, I also write because I’m convinced that some things are just not up for debate. Like the Marcos corruption and the Martial Law atrocities — ugh, now I digress.
So I write this post because my unproductivity has been bothering me. I want to tick it off my list, and I also want to keep myself semi-accountable by writing about the posts that I plan to work on. There’s a huge chance that I may never get to write them at all, but who knows — maybe putting them out there might swing the odds to go in my favor. #
The YouTube track above is Astrud Gilberto’s “Agua de Beber,” one of the songs I listen to when I read because I love me some non-intrusive, easy listening bossa nova music.
The featured image is a screenshot from the music video.
I echo your sentiments. In the meantime, I just keep writing whatever comes to my mind. My writing list is already very long 🙂
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Doesn’t it bother you when it keeps getting longer and longer? Thankfully I forget easily so my list doesn’t even exist most of the time. Haha.
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It does bother me that’s why I always try to find time to complete as much as I can 😁
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anung eight hours a week?
ako eight hours work, 1 hour lunch, 5 hour travel per day hahaha
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Yung 5 hours travel per day ang pinakamasakit dyan. HAHAHAHA.
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its more fun in the philippines
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Waah mali ako haha. Eight hours a day, five times a week. At thankfully, maximum 15 minutes na ang travel. 😛
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ikaw na naka condo! lol. san ba work?
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Nasa abroad ako Kuya Kez (close??). Relatively maayos ang traffic dito at libre rin ang parking sa trabaho kaya hindi gaanong problema ang byahe. Well at least habang wala pang yelo, haha. 🙂
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kaya naman pala! lol. nasa US ako dati naawa sa min mga ka work namin na ‘Kana nung sinabi namin na 2hrs byahe namin to work.
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nakakaloka kasi talaga ang two hours huhuhu. what would it take kaya para maging maayos ang transport sector natin ‘no? huhu. 😦
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nuclear bomb
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!
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yung Japan umayos e. tayo kaya?
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ang dark ng joke dahil sa nangyayari sa north korea ngayon, hahahaha. pero oo nga, malay natin. may nabasa ako dati, sobrang chaka na raw ng urban planning sa metro manila at ang tanging solution na lang ay complete overhaul. pero siyempre jusme wag naman sanang bomba hahahaha. 😀
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nasa roots kasi natin yan e. sabi nga ni Dr. Jose Rizal: kanser ng lipunan. hindi lang yung lugar need i overhaul, pati na rin yung ‘diwa’ nating mga pinoy.
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truly, so atomic bomb na nga? or zombie apocalypse! or mutant invasion! 😀
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Malabo ang zombie apocalypse dito. Nabasa ko somewhere, mamatay ung virus sa sobrang init sa Pinas. HAHAHAHA.
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Ooooor, sobrang bilis magsspread ng virus dahil sobrang crowded ng lungsod. Hahaha.
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I will be looking forward for your future post about that “distance and dispositions” 🙂
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Aw man, it’s probably gonna be corny haha. 😀
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Pero kaabang abang ang mga sinusulat mo. At lagi akong excited kahit kung anong kwento lang meron ka or kahit sa mga pilosopiya mo sa buhay. ❤
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Aweh? Haha. Salamat Thea! Isa pa rin sa goals ko sa buhay ay maging kasing-sipag at kasimbilis mo magsulat. 🙂
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May favorite quote ako pagdating sa ganyan from my fave blogger, Trisha Velarmino. Sabi n’ya, just write and write daw. ‘Wag iisipin na baka pangit ‘yung sulat mo, or grammatically incorrect, or whatever. If you feel like writing, just write. Kasi kahit ano pa daw ‘yan, it will come out beautiful as long as galing sa puso. 🙂
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Truly, agree ako na we have to write and write without always worrying about the quality. I disagree, tho, that anything coming from the heart is beautiful. I think hindi rin lagi. May mga pangit kasi talaga e, hindi ba? You even wrote about these top bloggers na chaka ang content haha. Pero from our own (and other people’s) kachakahan we learn. Kaya at the end of the day, okay lang din na magsulat ng chaka haha.
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Jolens… #reader and #liker mo na kang ako. Masakit sa bangs nga sinusulat mo kahit wala akong bangs…wala ako maicomment most of the times 😂😂😂
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Haha, ayos lang! Lurker lang din ako sa maraming blogs. 😀
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hanggang basa na lang ako sa mga posts mo haha
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I sometimes read a random post in your blog and today this is it! I love it! 5++ years ago, I’m active in blogging and just write whatever the hell I feel. And I miss that. Thank you, this is inspiring.
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Aww, you’re so sweet. That’s the beauty of blogging, isn’t it? We can write whatever the hell we feel. I hope you never stop writing. 🙂 ❤
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