sure. wait. what?

1.

I hung out with my friends Y and E last Friday night. We had hotpot and tamarind vodka and iced tea. Who knew peach + strawberry steeped tea with a dash of honey would be bussin’? Chef’s kiss, bro. Chef’s kiss.

I took a quick nap on E’s couch before driving back home the same night. I had to drive out of town the following morning to attend a wedding.

2.

I was late for the wedding. The church ceremony was supposed to start at 3pm, but I didn’t leave the house until a few minutes after noon, which gave me very little time to prepare. I ended up driving to a gas station a couple blocks away from the church to get dressed and do my make-up.

Just when I thought getting dressed for a wedding at a gas station couldn’t get any more ratchet — I got into the washroom and was welcomed by a gnarly waft of fresh-ass shit. An old woman in her diapers was washing her shit-soiled pants in the washroom sink. The washroom was a hotbox of steaming shit, but that didn’t stop me, man. I needed to get dressed regardless, and so I went into one of the cubicles and changed into my cocktail dress.

After the hasty costume change, I got out of the stall and stood next to the lady in front of the mirror. I took my makeup kit out of my backpack and started doing my makeup while feigning ignorance the entire time. Shit? What shit? Everything is fine.

“Do you have a trash bag?” the old lady turned to me and asked.

“No, ma’am, I’m sorry I don’t,” I said.

The lady walked out of the washroom and I continued working on my foundation while metaphorically crossing my fingers, hoping that the stink does not cling onto my skin or my clothes.

3.

The ceremony had already started when I arrived at the church. The doors were already closed too, and one of my university friends who I haven’t talked to in years had to meet me by the entrance to let me in.

4.

The reception was held at a ballroom in a hotel. The table assignments for the guests were posted in a cardboard outside the ballroom and, yo — my name wasn’t there. I couldn’t find it. J? Jolens? Jolina? Nothing!

Was I not invited to the reception? Was it because I didn’t officially RSVP and just confirmed my attendance via text after the bride followed up with me? Was there even a plate for me?

The ballroom opened and my friends went in. There are names on the tables so we can’t sneak you in, one of them texted me.

I saw a bridesmaid and asked if I should stay or go. “Let me get back to you,” she told me. I waited in the lobby while texting another set of friends asking for advice. Should I stay? Or should I go?

After about 10 minutes, I decided to bail because I didn’t want the bride to stress about how she’s going to feed one extra guest. I spoke to an old couple who I presumed to be relatives of the bride and left them my monetary gift, then I started walking back to my car.

And then I got a call. “Hey, is this J?”

“Yes, this is she,” I said.

“We were looking for you and couldn’t find you in the lobby. The mother of the bride wants to see you. They’re setting up a chair for you. You should come back.”

“Uhhhh…”

“Just please come back. We’re not sure what happened, but please come. We’d love to have you here.”

I said thanks, okay, and — I dunno, man, but I felt really bad. The mother of the bride was involved now? My friend the bride herself texted me a minute later saying she’s sorry and asked me to come back.

I started walking back to the hotel. I felt like I had to.

5.

Reception was fun, food was good, people were dope.

I drove back to my apartment the following Sunday. I haven’t fully unpacked from that short trip until today. I just finished doing my laundry. I don’t feel like folding the freshly washed clothes. I just want to wash my face, brush my teeth and go to bed.

6.

Maybe I want to get married one day, eh? I dunno. I’ve been thinking about it. I am single AF so it’s not like I can shotgun my way to a wedding anytime soon but, I dunno. I guess I’m getting old. Maybe I’m just getting old.