sure. wait. what?

1.

I told myself I would clean the apartment today, so of course I didn’t. I mean I haven’t. Yet. I still have the rest of the day to complete this self-assigned task, so it’s still a tad early to call myself a failure. Plus, don’t I have an entire year to make up for not cleaning today? Heh.

2.

I finally thought my goals through, and I came up with three.

One, to order takeout food only twice a month.

Two, to buy clothes only once per quarter.

Three, to buy plants only twice the entire year.

Pretty simple, eh? And so far, so good. Five days into the new year, and I have not made a dent to any of these self-imposed limits on (debatably) unnecessary purchases.

3.

The bigger goal — the “life” goal, so to speak — is to save more money. I want to buy a house one day, and as with most millennials my age, the odds are sooo not Raven. House prices and interest rates are skyrocketing to the heavens, while wages remain dead flat on the ground. I don’t think I’ll even get a raise this year, and if I did, it would be just enough to match inflation. It also doesn’t help that I refuse, refuse, to buy a house with a partner. Being poor (i.e., no rich ancestors to offer me down payment money) and stubborn (i.e., “I can do this on my own, believe me!”) are two of the worst possible traits to have for an aspiring homeowner.

4.

A few years back, I thought I didn’t want a house. I thought I would be perfectly happy renting. If I get booted out of an apartment for whatever reason, I would just find another and move. I’d have more money on hand anyway because I wouldn’t be paying mortgage and insurance and property taxes, yes? I’m not sure what changed though. Maybe it’s because everyone I know is buying their own house despite the awfully high interest rates. Maybe it’s because I feel like I need to take the proverbial “next step.” Pfft. I dunno.

5.

Oh, shoot, yes — I also want to go back to school and get a graduate degree. This will of course cost me money, but…aaa. Down payment for a house? Or masters? Sigh.

6.

When I told my friend M about my goal of buying a house, “sana all” was her response. Whenever I feel blah for not having enough money to afford all the things that I want, for having to choose between A or B because choosing both is pretty much taking the freeway to bankruptcy, I remind myself of the relativity of it all. Wanting my own house is a privilege in and of itself. Gotta be mindful of that.