THIS YEAR has been tremendous for me. I have been incredibly fortunate in 2025 until, alas, something happened last of week of September that reminded me of the cosmic balance of the universe. For every high, there shall be a low. And while I haven’t reached the bottom yet, it feels as if I am slowly gliding toward it.
But anyway, onto the recap…
Money
| Savings Bucket | Savings Goals Met % |
| Long-Term | 100% |
| Travel | 0% |
| Gifts | 100% |
I pretty much gave up on any big travel plans this year. I might still bring my parents somewhere during the holidays, but nowhere fancy for sure.
Fitness
I kind of dropped the ball on tracking my workouts in September. There were times when I just didn’t bother opening my calendar after exercising, so the table below only shows the few times I cared.
| Exercise Days | 3 |
| Walk | 1 |
| Barre | 1 |
| Kayak | 1 |
I also had to travel for work last month, so I basically spent 20% of September out of town. I crossed the US border for the first time by land. I was nervous when I handed my passport over to border police — nothing bad happened, and I got through with no issues. It’s just that I read the news every day, and the president over there hates people like me so…
Reading
I read Joni Mitchell: In Her Own Words, a transcript of Joni’s interviews with folk singer Malka Marom. I just woke up one day wanting to listen to Blue, which spurred me on to read this book. (I read the physical copy but I’m too lazy to take a pic right now.) Reading this book also reminded me of a conversation I once had with an old roommate, which I wrote about a couple weeks back (the one about Landslide).
I also read Katie Kitamura’s Audition and I liked it. The conceit is up there, and by “up there” I mean it’s not quite accessible for readers who prefer easily digestible pills of literature. I myself had to chew on it for a while to make sure I follow what was what. It was not straightforward at all, but the payoff at the end was solid. Solidly human, if that makes sense. (It doesn’t, but who cares.)
Social
Two coworkers retired, and I went to both their retirement parties. One of them I was close with, and the other was sort of my neighbor. And then there was R’s birthday, which we celebrated by eating Chinese and mango cake.
I also went kayaking with friends. We had lunch at a French place after paddling for nearly two hours, then we went to Costco to buy groceries. It’s a new thing for me, hanging out with friends while doing errands together. Two birds, one stone, as the saying goes.
Firsts and Finds
I found this cool restaurant in the city with amazing food and even more amazing happy hour deals. I have gone back twice now. Loooove!
I also heard the song “Heart” by Rainbow Kitten Surprise for the first time last month. It was playing at a home goods store, and I had to Shazam it. Good stuff.
Oh, and I finally went to this extremely popular burger joint downtown. I went with two friends, one of whom had just given birth. We were 44th in line, so we first munched on some snacks at a different bar. When we came back, we saw free spots in the patio even though we were, what, 23rd in line now? My other friend, the one who didn’t give birth recently, talked to the host and asked if we could take the seats outside, and the host agreed. Life hack!
Fails and Flops
Ah, a real flop, finally.
I made a very dumb mistake at work. It was a small error but it is costing the company a lot of money, not to mention massive migraines for everyone working on the project. I have apologized to my boss many times, and he has responded with the same line over and over: “it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
It’s way easier said than done though, not worrying about it. One time, when I was cooking dinner while watching a documentary about a submarine implosion, I started imagining a scenario in which my costly error resulted in aircrafts clashing into towers. I imagined myself being made an example in engineering classes, being named in headlines, being featured in books about engineering failures. My chest hurt so bad that I had to go for a jog as soon as I finished cooking, just to calm my nerves down.
It feels as if my days at the company are numbered. I don’t even trust myself with anything anymore. L said that I should try to not listen to my own voice and instead listen to what my coworkers say. If my boss assures me that it’s okay, then it’s probably okay. But again, that’s easier said than done.
I need to cease catastrophizing the situation though. This ain’t as notorious as Oceangate’s fuck-up, so I need to calm my bits. It’s probably just a small, correctable mistake that people will forget about in a few weeks. It’s just…it’s difficult to forgive myself for making a stupid error, that’s all. Siiiiigh.
Looking Ahead
No matter what happens at work: I am looking forward to autumn and the beauty that it brings. I am looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving in my home. I am looking forward to reading more books, hanging out with friends, and finally (hopefully) harvesting my potatoes.
Everything is going to be okay, I hope. May y’all have a peaceful October.
sure. wait. what? 
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