The day I binge-watched ABS-CBN youtube videos

I WOKE UP at around 12 noon, went to the kitchen and grabbed a plateful of kanin and inihaw na isda. I went back to my room, turned the laptop on then started watching ABS-CBN Entertainment videos while comfortably slouched on my bed, the duvet cover caped around my back for optimum sloth mode.

At some point, M chatted me up on Facebook. Ai-ai delas Alas’ tell-all interview with Boy Abunda was playing in the background while M and I talked about football (the soccer kind) and why it’s not as popular in the Philippines. My argument was mainly about geographical limitations and how the capital region doesn’t have wide sprawls of green grass for street kids to play on. M believes that there is just not enough institutional support to promote football nationwide. But I digress.

At around 2pm, M decided she had to sleep so I switched back to the Youtube tab. I learned about Alex Gonzaga’s break up and Jasmine Curtis’ opinions on her sister’s exes. I also virtually toured around celebrity homes. Jennylyn Mercado’s bathroom has two sinks even though she was single at the time the episode was taped. Kris Aquino giddily comments on Jennylyn’s “positive thinking.”

Bea Alonzo has a powder room that has a shower. She says it’s for her mom when the old lady could no longer walk upstairs to use the bathroom. I didn’t even know what a powder room was until this video.

Kris’ dream house doesn’t have a garden but it has a pool and synthetic waterfalls. In place of a living room, she wants multiple dining rooms instead. Who cares about entertaining guests in peasant couches when you could treat them to a presidential feast.

Ruffa and Richard Gutierrez also share a house in Dasma. “How I wish our bill was only P10,000,” Ruffa says, explaining that she and her brother share on all household expenses. They also have two sets of household help who occasionally quarrel among each other. Apparently it’s “like a reality show in the States,” says Ruffa. Ha ha ha, laughs Kris.

Towards the end of the day, at about 10 pm, I found myself re-watching some of the videos. I even branched out to artista weddings and Headstart interviews. I was mindlessly clicking the replay button and any of the recommended videos with an interesting title. There was one called “Vice asks Claudine’s ring“. I clicked wanting to know what he asked the ring pero grammar slip lang pala.

While watching the videos, I caught myself wanting to be Toni Gonzaga who is not much of a looker but still managed to gain her footing in a mestiza-dominated industry. Filipino entertainment romanticizes ugly duckling and rags-to-riches narratives that no matter how “enlightened” I think I am, I still succumb to dreams of one day waking up with perfect teeth and a powder room with a bath tub.

I didn’t spend the entire day in front of my computer just watching fluff entertainment in small doses. I would occasionally get more food from the kitchen and also go to our wash room, a filthy dog pound compared to celebrity bathrooms that could house an entire urban poor community.

I would also switch tabs to Google to find more information about artistas. I was curious about the Alex Gonzaga’s book then found out that both Annabelle Rama and Kathryn Bernardo were also published authors. My Creative Writing high school diploma seemingly morphed into a Glee poster giving me the L-sign. I metaphorically gave it the finger.

It is now almost 2am and I am listening to Celine Dion, contemplating about what I gained from a whole day’s worth of escapist consumption. It sure did not make me a better person, that I know.

But I guess I’m just going to end this day with a sigh. A deep, long sigh. ‘Yung tipong naka-Vicks pa ‘yung dibdib para mas malamig. Hayayay.

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The featured image is from Dailymotion.