sure. wait. what?

I DIDN’T realize how eventful October had been until I sat down to write this post. I saw friends, I got sick, I went on another work trip — a whole lot of things happened, but they all flowed in one gentle rhythm, a steady pulse. 

The calmness may have something to do — or a lot to do — with the weather. When the trees turn gold and the breeze begins to cool, my spirits settle too. 

Money

Savings Bucket	Savings Goals Met %
Long-Term	100%
Travel	100%
Gifts	100%

One thing I did differently in October was sell some of my “free” stocks from work. I was worried I was going to get canned (I didn’t) so I started looking into my total compensation. 

I finally understood how my company’s stock-sharing plan works. The company basically gives employees a certain amount that gets automatically invested in the company’s stock. This amount is not taken from our salaries, so it’s “free money.” On top of that, employees can also set a certain percentage of their salaries to go into this plan, 50% of which the company will match; ergo more “free money.”

When I checked my plan in October, I noticed that there was already quite a bit of money in there. And because I was feeling anxious — about unemployment, recession, and all that financial-precarity-jazz (isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?) — I ended up withdrawing the maximum amount I was allowed to take. Hurrah!

Fitness

Exercise Days	4
Walk	3
Run	1

I stopped trying, pretty much. I went for a run though, so…yay?

The walks I did were also scenic. That’s autumn for ya, my friends. L and I went to a “forest bathing” trail once. It was gorgeous, but I think it’s just as pretty as many other paved trails around the city. 

I also am not sure what the difference is between forest bathing and just a regular walk in the park. There is, however, an entire association on forest therapy that certifies these trails, so there must be something that I’m missing. 

Reading

I read and loved Kaveh Akbar’s Martyr!. I loved the simultaneous specificity and universality of the main character’s desire, the ache for his own death to matter after both his parents died in ways that are “actuarial” or, essentially, insignificant. 

The book unfolds from different perspectives, sometimes even in dream form, but not only do the various narrators tell their stories (or the main characters’ perception of their stories) — they also reflect on them, illuminating important insights on art, spirituality, and identity. 

The novel ends ambiguously, which struck me as rather absurdist. To me it echoes Albert Camus’ thesis on the futility of searching for life’s meaning. By the end of the book, the dream sequences and multiple voices no longer appear to be mere details of whimsy, but a reiteration of the novel’s resistance against Certainty or, hmm — more like its ultimate embrace of the freedom that comes with Not Knowing. Ah, if only it was that easy. 

I also read Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis. Funny, because I was around 13 years old when I first read it for English class. My classmates and I were fresh inductees into teendom and we had to read…this? What was our teacher thinking? 

Reading the book now, man does it strike deep. I finally feel for George Samsa, whose transformation into a vermin has long been interpreted as a textbook portrayal of alienation, a tale as old as capitalism. 

George goes through exactly the four stages of alienation that Karl Marx discusses in his essay on estranged labor. Marx has predicted many a-thing, but it appears he has failed to consider the ability of the ruling class to keep resistance at bay. I am just as miserable as George now, but here I am distracting myself by writing a lengthy-ass blog post instead of joining the revolution. Ah, well. 

But I digress (or not really). The Metamorphosis was great. Read it if you haven’t yet. 

Social

My friend who went gallivanting around Europe for most of the year came back to town, so of course we went out for drinks and oysters. 

L and I also shared meals with family but, otherwise, it was not a very social October for me.

Firsts and Finds

I finally harvested my potatoes. I dug them out prematurely, so the bulbs were not fully developed yet. It snowed in October, that’s why, and I was afraid the snowfall would last longer than it did. Next time I’ll plant the potatoes early in spring.

I also tried wrapping my own spring rolls at a Vietnamese restaurant for the first time. If Korean cuisine gets you to grill meat on the table, Vietnamese cuisine gets you to assemble fresh spring rolls yourself. Sounds like a clever business idea to me. 

I didn’t host Thanksgiving but, for the first time, I cooked lamb and made creme brulee, which according to my brother was just “French leche flan”. He’s not wrong; they’re both custard-based desserts. 

Fails and Flops

I don’t think I made any other costly mistakes at work in October, so there’s that. I keep thinking about work though, even when I’m not on the clock. Maybe I’m quiet cracking? I dunno. 

Looking Ahead

I have to write an exam this November, so I’ve been spending a lot of time procrastinating. Prrfftt.

I am looking forward to the holidays though. Assuming I get to keep my job this year, I will have most of December off to do absolutely nothing. No work to stress over and no exams to study for — bliss!